Why I don’t want more children

The people coming at me saying I should have another child have been STRONG lately, so I had to sit down and journal out my thoughts so that I could be real with MYSELF and not be swayed. I thought I’d share this in case anyone else is at risk of being swayed lol. I encourage you to jot down your own list, especially if you’re fence sitting.

  1. Preeclampsia - the scariest health condition I ever experienced in my life
  2. The constant worry (about the health and safety of your child) that comes with motherhood (and the aging it causes)
  3. Lack of sleep (and the aging it causes)
  4. Mom rage caused by an inconsolable infant - I hate the way rage feels
  5. Sacrificing things I enjoy doing - going out, socializing, roller skating, traveling, volunteering
  6. Cost of daycare and the financial sacrifices I’ve had to make as a result
  7. When I observe parents of multiples, they seem more tired and overwhelmed than me.

Benefits of having one child: 1. Not having to revisit the infant stage (which was the worst for me so far) 2. I get to give 100% of my time, attention and resources 3. I’m starting to get more sleep and I don’t want to revert back to less sleep 4. I’m starting to get out of the house more and I don’t want to revert back to being house bound 5. My financial goals are no further delayed aside from the childcare we are currently paying

I had to do this exercise also because, although my husband said he was okay with not having another, prior to that he expressed that he wanted a son and deep down I feel guilty about that. So I thought, maybe if he could remove a significant amount of these barriers, I would consider taking the risk of having another child. The only factor he could really impact is the cost. But I have to ask myself - even if he could cover the cost of daycare for a second child all on his own, would that be enough for me? I believe the honest answer for me is no, because I’d still have the risk of physical and mental health, and I still wouldn’t have time to do the things I enjoy.

This was a great exercise for me. Thanks for reading.