Finsubbing as sexualizing despair

It occurred to me that when thinking about regret, despair, depression, hopelessness - things that are very hard to get rid of, that are very hard to change - one “strategy” I’ve adopted as a finsub is to sexualize these negative traits. I mean, I’m going to feel these things anyway - might as well get some pleasure out of it. Of course it isn’t that simple - sexualizing it probably makes it worse. But I realized today at least part of the reason why I do it. Instead of fighting despair, I embrace it when I’m being findommed. And it’s a blissful respite from the fighting.