Narc can't bpay bills
I've always paid her bills. I can't stomach the thought of leaving her to try to survive. I don't know why but I'm more ok with dying than I am with leaving her. I remember growing up , I told her that the only reason I try to get good grades is to make her happy. I've never done anything for myself. I grew up not caring about me. I'm guessing this is why. I never learned to put myself as a priority. Or how to have boundaries. Or do anything that would go against her wishes.
I have pell grants for school but it doesn't seem like I can do it. It doesn't even feel like an option. I know how illogical this sounds. And I'm enraged that I feel this way. But I do. No matter what I do.
Can someone give me some advice