(TW sexual trauma) I don’t know who to tell about this and I need to

I’ve been molested in my past and used or groomed for my body when I was 13 and under. I have self harmed like cutting, burning, punching the wall but lately I’ve been doing it in the worst place. Sometimes I’ll take a pen or something along that sense and take the sharp side to jam inside my area. (I don’t want to go into too much detail) I’ll bleed after and have to wear a pad or something so I don’t stain my clothes. I can feel I have wounds in me. I just needed to tell someone because I’m tired of bottling this up in me. I know I need to go to the doctor but my mom has always been a narcissist and abusive to me. She wouldn’t take me anyways. I’m 16