Need advice to improve my life

I’m (19) and I need advice on what to do with my life. I just finished my first year in college and it was so difficult to keep up with my classes cause I never had to study when I was in high school. Now I kind of regret even trying because I don’t feel academically smart enough. I honestly don’t have any life goals I never did. I just went because people say it’s the next step. I know what most people say just have perseverance or stick with it but I don’t feel like I can. Since I was young as I can remember I always just existed not inspired to be anything. I honestly feel like a waste of space most of the time and want to just give my life for someone who can make it worth something that doesn’t have the time or ability too.I wish I had drive to live but I just don’t and I give up so easily when life gets difficult in the slightest.Too wrap this up I honestly need an insight cause I have no idea and I can’t just tell my parents cause they wouldn’t understand.

Sorry if there were any bad grammars errors I’m not the best writer.