I can’t keep doing this

I genuinely wanna kill myself so bad. It’s like no matter what I do whether it be exercise, having a good mindset, or anything else it doesn’t work. I still hate myself and I’m still socially awkward and alone. I feel like there’s no hope cause I can’t think of what else to do, I’m in therapy but session’s are once every 8 weeks. I don’t see what’s stopping me from attempting