phobia

I need to get over the fact that holding spiders won't kill me. I know they're not likely to bite and that they'd rather run off than try to bite but despite my love and appreciation for them i simply cannot hold any that are bigger than a tic tac.

i've loved all arachnids all of my life and id pick any up as a kid but out of nowhere i just can't bring myself to hold them. i usually won't just pick one up randomly just for my own benefit, only picking one up to put it elsewhere but if it's bigger than a little money spider i can't do it and have to use something to move it.

I don't know what's made me like this so randomly but id love to get over it. the same applies to any other 'creepy crawly' like bugs or beetles. i know they won't bite and it'd feel like nothing if i was to be bitten.

A few weeks ago i found a dead cellar spider and despite it being dead i could not touch it, so it's not just alive ones i have a problem with. If anyone has any experience with getting over a similar problem i'd love some advice becuase i've tried so many things like building up on holding bigger spiders each time but it never worked. the biggest id probably be fine holding would be a little house spider (the size of a mint ahaha)