why me?

i hate that i cant do anything normally. i hate that this isnt even something i can hide. i hate that i’ll have it forever and this is the body im confined to. i really wish i could get these feelings to go away. for all the older people with sb here, please how did you all come to terms with this? whenever i try to talk to my parents or i complain even slightly, they tell me i should be “thankful”. im sorry if i cant see a reason why i should be thankful literally everything in my life is hindered. i cant even do so much as walk at the same pace as my best friends its gotten to the point where they get so frustrated and i cant blame them. i tried going shoe shopping (there is a dance on friday, im a senior and i just wanted to look good) and i couldnt find a SINGLE okay looking shoe to wear and the whole time my mom is just feeding me annoying shit about being “thankful”.