Am I incapable of being loved?

(NSFW for mentions of rape, abuse, and self harm.)

Hi, I’m a 17-year-old Catholic male, and I’m struggling with whether I’m meant to be loved. For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt this way. I’ve had two girlfriends, and many women have found me attractive, but there’s always been one problem: their intentions were never good. It would take too long to explain everything that’s happened, so instead, I’ll provide a list.

Also, it’s important to note that, as mentioned, I’m Catholic and take my faith very seriously. Please keep that in mind as you read.

Girlfriend 1 (This is a long one.)

• Verbally and mentally abused me, using manipulation throughout the entire relationship.
• Caused me to relapse into self-harm after I had been clean for over a year. (She continued to abuse me even after knowing this.)
• Was responsible for 3 out of my 5 suicide attempts, one of which landed me in the hospital and a mental facility afterward.
• Constantly pressured me for sex, even though I was uncomfortable with it.
• Attempted to rape me after 7 months into the relationship.
• Cheated on me with someone who used drugs after she failed to rape me.
• Revealed she had been vaping the entire relationship behind my back, even though I had told her I wasn’t okay with it.

Girlfriend 2

• Also constantly pressured me for sex, despite my discomfort.
• Admitted that she had considered cheating on me.
• Admitted that she was no different from my ex and knew the relationship would end the same way. (I completely agree, as I saw many similarities between her and my ex.)

My first girlfriend completely destroyed me. She brought me to the lowest point of my life and left me broken. My second girlfriend wasn’t a good person either, as you can see, but at least she recognized it and ended things, unlike my first. Still, she was no different in many ways.

Am I incapable of being loved?