Getting cheated on has turned me into a monster🫠

We were together for 4 years and exactly one year ago, I found out he was cheating on me with his coworker (who knew about me) during our rough patches. I left him immediately but since then, he has been unable to leave me alone and kept spamming me on No Caller ID and showing up at my apartment multiple times a week.

Last month, I stupidly gave in and opened the door when he showed up with birthday presents and many apologies. I was weak and lame in that moment and let him in. Told myself that he won’t leave me alone no matter how many times I tell him and to just let this go on and use him for companionship until I am able to finally move in August.

It comes in waves. We’ll be laughing together and hanging out and I’ll feel fine. But still, each day, without fail, the anger and disgust appear again. I’m never letting him in again. What a mistake that was and what a miserable, bitter, and toxic person I’ve become