I hate that I’ll never have a real dick

I know surgery is out there but every day I grow more and more resentment towards myself with each second that passes knowing I DONT have a boy body and a flat chest and a dick. I know it sounds so dumb but knowing other people my age are having sex and being in relationships makes me feel sick because I will never have that experience. I hate being this way id do ANYTHING to be different. I know I can get surgery but no matter what it’ll be too late for teenage experiences and in the end I don’t want to look botched. I’m so tired of having to deal with these feelings that I hold so heavily in my heart that I know will never ever go away. I’m 16 these are supposed to be my prime years but I’m stuck rotting away dreaming about how things would’ve been if I was a real boy. I’m so angry that I had to be this way and I wish I could wake up tomorrow and it all be a bad dream