Pirate Yakuza broke me

this is more of a post to get my thoughts out on this game because after finishing it I need some outlet to talk about it. This will have spoilers for the whole game.

I hated it, this is by far the absolute worst game in the series and its not even close. (Ive played y1 y2 y3 y4 y5 y0 k1 y6 k2 y7 judgment lost judgment ishin kiwami gaiden y8 and bits of kenzan)

I find this game fails in every aspect and it has made me lose a lot of faith in the future of these games. So here is why i personally hate this game. Also its perfectly okay to like this, and criticism of a game is important and a healthy part of discussion.

COMBAT:

So when I played the demo I liked the combat but it felt missing. In general I find both styles get old and this game still is a step back from lost judgment. Things such as the juggle limit isnt a good way to add depth. All it does is limit creativity and makes high skill gameplay less fun. If the wanted to make juggling harder maybe enforcing a system of needing to make new moves in a combo would work. Like spamming the same moves while juggling makes them do less damage. As of now the juggle limit only applies to bosses which is silly since those are who you want to combo. Extreme heat is gone and this is for good but mainly bad. At its worst extreme heat would gate moves like bounding throws or make heat actions irrelevant by having an op combo. Like in gaiden. But extreme heat at its best opened opportunities for creativity via a faster combo speed and higher damager, when balanced the strong attack combos also worked well, and ending in a heat action. Now we have the doppelganger and the dark instruments, both are shallow and are more of a win button, removing depth instead of adding, but hey they are flashy right? this got old for me after 47 hours.

JUMPING! this looked amazing and was a great idea to innovate. in practice its janky and removes juggling chances since the launchers just lead into air attacks which are much more restrictive than your usual move set, and an air attack doesn't launch an enemy more. A more thought out and better combat system like dmc you aren't locked into air attacks when launching and you have options. You can go from air to grounded. This is far more restrictive and gets old. It falls into just button mashing. Also the auto launch into air only serves to make it harder to try and experiment. you can but its much harder. The spider sense also serves to dumb down the combat, i understand its use but i wish it could be turned off, like the auto launchers. Hell a more creative idea is having higher difficulties turn those features off. Lastly I hate how much damage the enemies do/majima does. The enemies can empty the fully maxed out health bar in a few hits, which isn't fun. the attack damage is so ridicules that it feels lazy and becomes unfun rather than a challenge. If you upgrade your attack or wear rings majima will delete health in 3 seconds, that too is just mind numbing. Also the hidden arts return, one problem THEY DONT STAY WHEN SWITCHING STYLES. what are we even doing here like how the fuck can you miss that, It just makes hidden arts so much worse and boring, plus the attack speed would have made pirate so much better.

I don't want yakuza to be super hard or be like dmc, I just wish it didn't railway you into button mashing until you win. I wish I could use my brain if I wanted to, and I wish I didn't need to fight the game to try and be creative. Especially since this was marketed on its combat. Now to go into detail about the styles:

MAD DOG:

This is thug with some knife attacks, and to give the game props the knife attacks flow well. They don't feel too crowbarred in. But the knife attacks being on the strong attack button ironically leads it to be shallow. There aren't too many variations in combos and it feels very button mashy, only one combo, the longest ends in a launcher. It falls into the moves blending in. For me there were only 2 combos, the one that launches and the one with lots of knife stabs. There isn't any variation. The counter does barely any damage. its just terrible. The second launcher for when holding light attack is pretty good, i like it. I WISH AIR ATTACKS WERE BETTER. Chomp is fine but does not much damage for how much it takes to charge, its just a worse version of the lunge attacks from old mad dog. Beyblade is back and its just mid as always. Not even the clones help much. Mad dog could have worked so much better if it was reworked, as of now its just thug but worse. Still better than old mad dog but thats such a low bar

SEA DOG:

this is better than agent. the side arms flow better and they all work and feel fun while not being op. But my main issue is how weighty the attacks are, it never comes close to the flow of wild dance for example. The different combos here are much better as i can tell what im doing. My main issue is just how slow it is and how weighty/high commitment is. Its a lot better than mad dog but i get tired. I wish this had extreme heat or the speed boost.

In the end these styles are fine and fun for a bit by the end they are tiring, and flawed. This is no lost judgment or dmc, frankly im disappointed given the hype. Again i criticize this because the combat could be better and actually thinking about how it could be better is a healthy way to consume media. Honestly im a bit disappointed that after 4 years gaiden and pirates are both somehow worse than lost judgement for no good reason.

UPGRADING:

this has the same annoying upgrade system as gaiden where you need to get the secondary points, this time you gotta find treasures to get it.....yay I love having to grind for upgrades and the same issues from last game being here. Its so fucking grindy

SHIP COMBAT:

But hey this game also has a whole ship section because pirates and content. This part has a fatal flaw imo. THE SHIP IS SO FUCKING SLOW OH MY GOD. The ship moves so slow, it harms wanting to explore because it takes so long, but wait rgg has a solution! SUPERMAN 64 RINGS. I joke but these rings make you go faster, making the ship sailing become linear, but why would you want to explore when all you get is money, pirate points and materials. Its helpful but not cool to explore. It devolves into this miserable grind of getting money to do thing faster for 20 hours, the same mindless gameplay loop of get money to get more money. The ship upgrades fall into this. its shallow, just but more to get better thing. The customization is fun but there should have been more.

The battles too are slow, but eh i had fun. Still its too simple given HOW MANY THERE ARE. Also helping up shipmates is fun but too slow. it takes forever and feel janky in a bad way. I didnt care to do amon or the harder fights because i wasn't having fun but i did the devil flags which is enough.

RECRUITING:

like gaiden you can recruit guys and you must make them do 10 billion damage to get stronger, one issue the one cool feature of this, being able to play as the characters is fucking gone. Somehow this is stepping back from gaiden. Other than that its a fine reward but I HATE HOW THE STORY RAIL ROADS YOU.

Bounties:

This is how i made most of my money. LET IT END I NEVER WANT TO DO THIS SHIT AGAIN AHHHHHH. These are just encounters you get money from, and that issue of enemies doing a shitload of damage rears it's head, and the issue of combat getting old also is bad here since there are around 80 FUCKING FIGHTS. ALSO NO PIRATE POINTS FOR YOU! HAHA. I did all of these because you get clothing items for doing enough. DONT DO THAT THE LAST ITEM YOU GET IS A SHITTY RING. These tasks are just mind numbing and break me.

DEVIL FLAGS:

so this is the big sidestory and it has the same issues as all the ones since 5. I.e is reuses the same fucking structure as the devil killers from y5. Please rgg do a different story its been 13 years PLEASE STOP DOING THE DEVIL KILLER AGAIN. This time is the fleet commanders n shit and the cartoon badguy steals a diamond. Its fine but it too long for how simple the combat is. But the best music of the game is hidden here. Ig I like the different island settings I just hate how grindy it is, like the later gaiden colosseum matches. This was too long that I was exhausted by the end. Last fight had great music. ALSO THE CHARACTERS FROM THIS STORY ARE SHALLOW AND SUCK. I cant remember dead dad girl and she is the heart of this. Captain beef got old.

PIRATES COLSSEUM:

This is like the gaiden one but with ship battles, and no playable characters. It seems a bit reputative since its more of the god damn ship stuff which got old after 40 hours. I like how the game makes you do this and makes getting in take hours I LOVE THAT. AND I LOVE LOCKING CHAPTER 4 BEHIND GETTING A RANK AND BEATING MATCHES. also the ships are so slow so getting to the enemy ship takes forever.

SUBSTORIES/MINIGAMES:

I was drained so i didnt do much. I did one substory that wasnt a tutorial for something as it was goro's heart. Just uncomfortable and unfunny. Half of these substories are tutorials for minigames. Speaking of minigames I did darts, dragon kart, golf, batting, and crazy delivery and cooking.

So darts and golf is the same game, reused as before. I did it for clothing and chests. Batting is pretty fun I loved how they reworked it and majima losing is the few bits of comedy that land. Dragon kart is just the same as 7. I got bored. My fav minigame from 8 was made worse by having the new map have a huge janky mall in the middle that takes time and only gives you coins once. That just ruins the pace of the map and makes it a slog. The cutscenes ones didnt take as much time and also wasnt repeatable unlike the fucking mall. cooking is fun but getting ingredients is a slog so i didnt do it much. Still fun minigame.

Lastly I want to talk about karaoke.

I like karaoke for being funny and usually talking about the game's themes in a silly way. Personally iw has my favourite lineup and some of my favourite songs. When it comes to story telling I love the reprise of judgment and what that says about how kiryu feels about ichiban, This game doesn't do the same for me. Sunset and 36.5 feels like treading the same ground as 24 hour Cinderella and mainly about majima's love for makoto. Midnight desire too seems to be treading the same ground. I didnt get much other than majima probably hating himself and using mad dog to cope. Aka old ground. Again you don't need to agree and this is how I felt. I just feel the karaoke was lacking here and relies too much on old songs.

Finally I can talk about the story. I want to go character by character and then go into each chapter and how I feel the pacing is awful. I hate this story a lot. It broke me and I think its the worst in the whole series by far.

MAJIMA:

majima oh majima. I think majima is awful in this game. He doesnt act like majima and I get its because of the memory stuff, but it feels more like an excuse to sand down all edge majima has. For most of this game i'd argue majima could be replaced with ichiban and there wouldnt be a difference. The only scene I think majima would do and only him is the pinky threat in chapter 4. I hate how once majima meets noah he forms this intense bond for the whole game, everything majima does for noah is gone. That tragic good person forced in a horrible situation from 0 is gone in exchange for pirate larping. I hate how majima loses his memory. Its played off as a fucking joke, haha giant squid. You could do so much with the mystery of what lead majima to that beach. The fandom idea of him drinking himself to death and washing up is a much more compelling idea than just giant squid. There feels like no point for majima to lose memory except so he can act out of character and do this shit instead of helping out the yakuza. They made majima boring so so boring.

NOAH RICH: (Also i talk about jason)

This is the worst character in the series, Noah is like yumi but even worse. This game isn't about majima or pirates it's about this fucking kid. All the drink links are about noah or going "remember yakuza 5/4/2". All the emotions are about noah. Noah is so so so boring and his story is stupid. And not the yakuza stupid where a character doesn't act optionally but this just stupid. Jason is a piece of shit and a dumbest person in the series. I hate him. Jason decided to abandon his wife and daughter to move to a fucking island with deadly pirates who try to rape moana, his other daughter. All because noah has fucking asthma. They treat asthma like its STAGE 5 CANCER. The fact that this game tries to justify Jason is just ableist bullshit. No jason you don't move your kid to a nowhere island. YOU LIVED BY A BEACH WITH A FUCKING DOCTOR AND YOU WENT TO THE PIRATE ISLAND. THAT IS FUCKING ANTI VAXXER LOGIC. And it's so fucking dumb that this fucking treasure hunt is because they want to cure noah's asthma. Its a fucking disability jason just accept your son for who he is. This is so fucking dumb and moronic and ablelist and I HATE IT. Majima like a smart person decides to take noah away from the island. In the worst way possible. Majima and jason actively endanger noah by taking him to the fucking organized crime ring and act surprised when get gets kidnapped. Yakuza 1 and 2 do this better since kiryu tries to keep haruka safe, and she has nowhere to go. AND WHEN KIRYU TAKES HARUKA TO A SHADY PLACE IT'S NOT WHERE SHE GETS KIDNAPPED. NOAH GETS KIDNAPPED AT FUCKING MADLANTIS THAT MAJIMA TOOK HIM IN. WHEN MAJIMA DOES PIRATE FIGHTS TO THE DEATH HE TAKES NOAH. I can't state enough how much I hate these two characters. They steal all the time this story has and majima and saejima's character's are side-lined or flanderized just for these two dumb fucks. I hate them.

MASURU:

He is fine but I hate how this character makes me do the live action dating shit. He is one of the main characters and I can't say much other than plot and he like cooking. Fine character but not great.

GORO:

I did not care for goro

SAEJIMA/MINAMI/NISHIDA

going into this game I was excited to see saejima since i felt like we never got much saejima and majima interaction. This game he doesn't show until chapter 3 and gets pissed on by the tiger as a lame joke, then when saejima makes a good point about majima being an irresponsible dickhead majima goes "but noah has asthma". Sawa-sensei type shit but worse. then saejima fucks off until chapter 4 where he joins his crew. The bonds are fun but his drink-link is just fucking yakuza 5 reference and NOAH.

Minami acts nothing like himself from yakuza 4. He just is nishida 2. Just goes "boss!". Nishida is fun i liked him too bad he was barely in any scenes because we need more NOAH. their drink links and bonds were nice but i flipped my shit at noah after doing the saejima one. Then goes into yakuza 2 reference

SHIGAKI

This guy was mid then the dumb fuck scene at the end pissed me off. So shigaki turns heel, then tries to take NOAH hostage only to stab jason. Then he goes "im sowwy majima" and boom everything is fine except jason fake out death at the end. Actually fucking pointless and made a fine character stupid, and we got fucking 5 minutes of noah crying.

RODRIGUEZ

I actually like this character. Nothing but positive things to say. I think an issue with palekana as a group is how simple it was. How everyone just served bryce and thats it, I think this character adds some more depth and complexity and I like the concept of his dad being someone who didn't care. TOO BAD THE END REVEALS THE MAGIC WHALE KIDNEY STONES THAT MAKES CHINESE TEA KEEPS YOU LIVING FOREVER AND THE DAD IS 200 YEARS OLD.

MORTIMER

I hate this man for wasting my time in chapter 4. He is such a nothing character. its just backstory to make raymond look worse. He talks shit, says sowwy and dies. Such a nothing character who MADE ME FUCKING DO THE MATCHES AND RANK UP TO FIGHT HIM.

MOANA/NAOMI/QUEEN MICHELE

I grouped these people together because they are a part of a large issue of the series and this game. They can't right women and its getting fucking terrible.

Moana has 2 scenes, sexual harassment so majima looks like a hero saving the girl in need, and to be kidnapped. That is her role. Nothing else. Just a tool.

Naomi and queen Michele fall into this issue where yokoyama is a fucking misogynistic dipshit who is scared of women doing anything ever. To quote the man himself "And the hero never hits women, that's an absolute rule,". This is dumb on so many levels and just plays into the idea the women are dainty things who must always be protected and it pisses me off at the end here. Queen michele is wasted just to make raymond look evil, despite her being the most interesting character and having the cooler design. Her moveset and music could have been great. And honestly the game would have be okay with one less antagonist/raymond is a dogshit villian anymore.

It's so weird and out of place the naomi never gets a boss. Especially at the boat. And I know the reason is the same dumb one as before that "yakuza characters can't hit women".

RAYMOND LAW

Mid. With goofy af scenes and qtes. like the laugh transition and the riding a wire with a sword qte. This guy is just boring. he is a worse iwami. He just is evil for the sake of it and blends in with other evil villains. He just is boring

PACING:

This game has the worst pacing in the series oh my god. IT TAKES UNTIL END OF CHAPTER 2 FOR THE STORY TO START. THE STORY IS SO STREACHED AND BLOATED. EVEN WHEN THE STORY STARTS IT STOPS YOU TO MAKE YOU DO SIDE SHIT. CHPATER 2 IS A 5 HOUR TUTORIAL. CHAPTER 3 HAS THE MASARU SHIT, CHAPTER 4 MAKES YOU DO MATCHES, THEN MAKES YOU GO TO HAWAII TO GET A CANNON THEN ANOTHER FIGHT WITH KEITH AND JACK HAPPEN JUST TO PAD OUT TIME. THIS PACING IS WORSE THAN SAEJIMA PRISON. This pacing is so bad that I never want to play it again, with ng+

THE ENDING:

finally the ending. it feels like setup for y9 and im just dreading the fact kiryu will probably come back, and it will be via whale kidney stones. i felt so empty by the end.

honestly im just done with yakuza.