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2025-02-14 16:13:01

AITA for siding with my daughter over my wife over adoption and what she calls her?

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But why is this hurting Amy so badly? NTA I do agree it should be up to the child to make the final decision. Kids do need to know their option though. Why is Hayley still uncomfortable with Amy being called mom? Has Any asked her for similar changes before you are maybe unaware of? It kind of sounds like maybe Amy has pushed this before behind your back. If they are super close and Hayley saw her as a trusted parent or motherly figure she would probably have asked questions about boundaries by now. This is an Amy problem but definitely suggest going back to family therapy.

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Hayley doesn't see Amy as her mom. As family, yes, but not her mom. So calling her mom isn't something she wants to do. Amy has not asked for this before or anything like it. Hayley even said it came out of nowhere. It was the first time she ever felt like Amy didn't like the relationship like it is currently.

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Does Amy act as Hayley’s mom? Why doesn’t Hayley see her as mom if she’s the only mom she’s ever known & she acts as her mom? Have you asked? What does “mom” mean to Hayley? Why does she not want to honor Amy with the name? Does she have a reason? Do other members of the family refer to Amy as “your wife” around Hayley? How do you & extended family treat Amy on Mother’s Day? If Amy stopped acting as Hayley’s mom & behaved as simply your wife, Summer’s mom & Hayley’s less involved step mom, how would that make her feel? Honestly, idk how that would even look. It all seems cold & cruel to me.

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Their relationship isn't exactly like a mother-daughter one. It's like friends mixed with aunt-niece but also different. It's unique and it's own kind of relationship. Hayley adores Amy. She does. She loves having her in our lives. But she doesn't see her as her mom. Hayley doesn't really see anyone as her mom in that sense. She views Amy as someone she loves, she always claims Amy as family and talks about how we're a family. But it's different than the two parents and kid family unit.

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